One important brand message I want to hold with Real True Work is authenticity and honesty. While there are many people who coach women to become entrepreneurs, I feel like many of them sell a certain image and take on a peppy cheerleading tone that just doesn’t capture the reality of the psychological process of the mindset, lifestyle and financial dynamics that are a part of this journey. If you want the real, truth about the process, I’m your woman!
This is my fourth small business venture. All of my previous businesses have grossed over six figures consistently. I’m no stranger to what it takes to leverage a good idea and hard work to financial success.
But the process isn’t easy. I don’t do it wearing heels and with a blowout, in full make up in my skinny jeans. Right now, I’m in velour sweatpants, on my couch, my cat next to me, hair in a headband, no make up, writing this between clients, cooking the soup I’ll eat this week. Later I’m running to Target to pick up plastic bins to hold my Halloween decorations I just took down to put up Christmas.
It’s kinda chaos.
And that’s ok!
When we get into entrepreneurial circles, we hear two opposing messages. It’s either:
- You can do this! You can be anyone you want to be! You have what it takes! OR
- This is so hard. No one understands how hard. I want to give up every day and it’s hard.
The reality is between these two extremes. The reality is some days it feels like we are in complete control and other days we’re exhausted, but most days we do the work, one step at a time without drama. It’s kind of messy and often feels like you’re taking two steps forward and one step back, because that is reality. We run into a problem when we believe we should be doing something different. That there is a “right way,” and that someone out there has it all figured out (they don’t, trust me).
Building a business isn’t hard or easy. It’s work like any other work. The intense emotions around it are about ANXIETY and managing THE UNKNOWN.
The Psychological Reality of Entrepreneurship
Successful business people are not smarter than you. What they possess is an ability to tolerate risk, the unknown and some chaos as they figure it out.
Women, especially, can get stuck in overthinking, second guessing, and self doubt. This happens because we’ve heard from a very young age that our own intuition and ideas can’t be trusted. Many men want to mansplain business concepts to us and debate the viability of our plans. We’ve heard this from parents, coworkers and even friends.
The road to success isn’t just through good ideas and hard work. The road to success starts with your psychological mindset.
Your success mindset is in the middle between “I CAN DO ALL THE THINGS PERFECTLY,” and “I’M A COMPLETE FAILURE.”
So let’s explore the thoughts that help you move your business forward. Remember, it’s about your ability to tolerate risk, the unknown and some chaos as you figure things out.
- Assume there will be hard days, bumps in the road and set backs. You’re building something new from the ground up. You’re learning new concepts and skills. You will get confused, overwhelmed and make mistakes. Accept this. Take it in stride. When you stumble, get up, brush off and keep moving forward. Expectation of perfection is unrealistic and sets you up to be perpetually disappointed and bummed out.
- Trust your intuition. Every time I have second guessed my intuition it was a mistake. Every. Single. Time. You will have haters and doubters and Debbie Downers around you. They don’t have the full picture. They haven’t done the work. They don’t know what you know. Trust yourself.
- Assume you can recover from mistakes. You’re going to make mistakes (see #1 above). The psychological key here is trusting yourself. You will screw up, you can recover. Period.
- Keep your expectations realistic. People out there selling these stupid ideas that you can make five figures in a month starting from zero, work only 4 hours a week, start a business with $100. Get out of here. Starting a small business takes work, some capital and time. If an idea sounds too good to be true, it is. Anyone who says they have an “easy system” to riches is lying. Don’t buy delusions. Invest in reality.
- Understand that business building is work but it’s no harder than working for someone else. I always say “If I’m going to work hard, I may as well work hard for myself.” But you don’t need to work 80 hour weeks or pull all nighters to launch a new business. You get to choose how you work and when. That’s one of the benefits of self employment. The key is to stay calm, have goals and stick to them and get support and help along the way.
- Develop coping skills to manage feelings of anxiety and overwhelm. Starting a business has some risk involved. There will be times when your paying out more than the revenue you’re collecting. At some point your tech will fail through no fault of your own. Things will go sideways. This doesn’t mean you can’t succeed and doesn’t suggest you’re a failure. It does mean you need some coping skills to get through these rough patches so you can focus to get back on track.
- Get comfortable with ambiguity. One risk many people struggle with is not knowing if their new business will be a success or not. A lot of factors go into which businesses take off and which wither and die. Many of those factors are in your control, but there are no guarantees. Not knowing is a part of building anything new. If you panic every time you can’t plan for every outcome or contingency, entrepreneurship isn’t for you. Change is the only constant you can count on and you’ll need some agility and flexibility to adjust your processes as things evolve. Subscribed
The Real Psychology of Building Momentum
Every “overnight success” I’ve witnessed in 20+ years of business has actually been years in the making. The real pattern I see in successful women entrepreneurs isn’t hustling 24/7 it’s:
- Making peace with imperfect action
- Learning from mistakes without internalizing them
- Building support systems that actually support them
- Staying focused on their vision while remaining flexible about the path
- Taking care of themselves as carefully as they take care of their business
This is why I created Real True Work – because women deserve a space where they can build businesses without pretending the process is easier or harder than it actually is. Where we can acknowledge that some days you’re crushing your goals in yoga pants, and other days you’re barely keeping up while eating leftovers between Zoom calls.
And guess what? Both kinds of days move you forward.
Your Next Step
Look at where you’re spending energy trying to fit someone else’s model of success. Ask yourself:
What if building your business could feel more like being yourself, just with better boundaries and systems?
What if success wasn’t about transformation, but about translation – turning your existing expertise into entrepreneurial impact?
What if the messy middle wasn’t a sign you’re doing it wrong, but evidence you’re doing it for real?
Because here’s what I know for sure: The world doesn’t need more women pretending building a business is either effortless or impossible. It needs more women showing up as themselves, doing the work their way, and creating success that’s sustainable in real life – velour sweatpants, soup-cooking, Target runs and all.
That’s not just business strategy. That’s freedom.
And it’s available to you right now, exactly as you are.
