Discard What’s Broken. Create What Matters.
A client recently told me: “I spent twenty years adapting to dysfunctional, male lead systems. I’ve managed up, managed down, managed everyone’s perceptions. I write the agenda for the meetings, order the coffee, lead the meeting, send the follow up emails, set goals and deadlines. My male colleagues get annoyed when these aren’t done a certain way, at a certain time, but no one else is going to do it. I’m exhausted. And I’m done.”
She paused, then added: “I used to think starting my own business was risky. Now I realize staying in this career system that values men, while minimizing women is destroying my self esteem, causing me to burn out and THAT is the bigger risk.”
This is the conversation I’m having almost daily with smart, accomplished women. The specific details vary, but the core truth remains: They’re done adapting to systems that were never designed for them to thrive.
When Your Ability to Adapt Becomes a Liability
Let’s be honest about what “adapting” really means in many professional settings:
– Carrying the emotional labor for entire teams
– Having your direct communication style labeled as “aggressive”
– Being told you’re “too passionate” about quality or ethics
– Managing others’ discomfort with your expertise
– Diluting your vision to make others comfortable
– Proving your worth. Again, and again.
The real cost isn’t just the energy spent adapting. It’s the slow erosion of your relationship with your own expertise. This is the core of imposter syndrome. You lose your trust in yourself because your instincts get questioned until you start questioning them yourself. Your vision gets dismissed, put aside, minimized and compressed until you lose track of who you are and why you do the work you do.
The Breaking Point is the Beginning
So many women are at a breaking point, saying “ENOUGH!” There’s no reward to adapt to the patriarchal system, no path forward, no promotion or amount of money that will make up for feeling depleted, burned out and dismissed.
That moment when you’re done adapting? It’s not a failure. It’s your expertise finally rebelling against artificial constraints. It’s your vision demanding space to expand. It’s your worth standing up and saying “it’s time to take control.”
This is where most conventional career advice falls short. It tells you to:
– “Build your personal brand” (while staying safely within bounds)
– “Lean in” (to systems designed without you in mind)
– “Find a mentor” (in organizations with few women leaders)
– “Navigate office politics” (in cultures that penalize direct communication)
– “Wait your turn” (while watching others skip the line)
Here’s what that advice misses: Sometimes the most professional choice you can make is to stop trying to make broken systems work.
Ready to Take the Next Step to Radical Freedom?
If you’re done twisting into a pretzel to accommodate hierarchies not meant for you, consider blazing your own path.
You already work harder than most.
You have novel, impactful ideas that get ignored or overlooked.
You know how to lead and manage.
You’re ready to take radical action and start your own business.
Starting a business isn’t just about income or flexibility. It’s about:
1. Creating systems aligned with your values from the start
2. Defining success on your own terms
3. Transforming your frustrations into solutions
4. Building cultures that actually work for women
5. Solving problems others don’t even recognize
Your expertise isn’t just what you know – it’s everything you’ve learned navigating broken systems. Every workaround you’ve created, every problem you’ve solved while others were busy debating if the problem existed… that’s your business blueprint.
From Adaptation to Creation
You use a lot of energy to adapt to these broken systems.
What if you used that energy to create something that is aligned with your goals, values and lifestyle?
The shift from adapting to creating requires:
1. Radical Permission
– To trust your assessment of what’s broken
– To stop fixing systems that don’t serve you
– To define success beyond conventional metrics
– To create before you feel “ready”
2. Clear Vision
– What would you build if nothing was “too much”?
– What problems would you solve if you weren’t managing others’ perceptions, expectations and moods?
– What impact could you create if you weren’t spending energy adapting?
3. Strategic Action
– Start building while maintaining your current role
– Test your ideas without risking stability
– Build support systems that actually support you
Your Next Step
Look at where you’re spending energy adapting. Ask yourself:
– What if that energy went into creation instead?
– What can you build that addresses problems your current employer ignores?
– What if you could make a great living while feeling empowered and using your expertise to make meaningful change?
The systems you’re trying to fix don’t need another brilliant woman adapting to their limitations. They need you to build something better.
Your expertise is ready for bigger spaces. Your vision is needed. And that nagging feeling that you could create something better? Trust it.
It’s time to stop fixing what’s broken. Start creating what matters.
